Sassy Sober Survivor

      friend [ frend ] / frɛnd noun 1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. 2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter . 3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile I have always had friends. Girls and guys to chat on the phone, gossip to, make plans to go out...regular friends, feel good friends.   But I’ve never had friends like I do now.  The friends I have now protect me and treat me like a sister. They hold me to a higher standard. They push me to be better. They call me out, they teach me and they want me to be the best I can be. I’m used to being supportive but I struggle to accept help and support when it’s offered.  Now that I am supported I feel safe enough to be authentic.  And being authentic means that I am not always at my best, rational and selfless self.  I can feel good with just about any...

Aunt Flow.  On the rag.  Surf the crimson tide.  On my period.  That time of the month...these are some ways that the world talks about menstruation. Like it is a biiiiiig secret. There is so much shame and embarrassment  surrounding menstruation that there are hundreds of terms to describe this human bodily function. Its talked about in hushed voices behind closed doors. Men AND *some* women think it’s gross, dirty, disgusting even. ‍ We bleed! That’s it!! No big deal right?  WRONG!! It’s some of the most intense beautiful magic that happens and I get to experience it EVERY MONTH! Wow. Just fucking wow.  My body is built to sustain Another Life.  When that purpose goes unfulfilled-  the nourishment, the memories of my ancestors, my DNA at the cellular level exits my body as blood. How couldn’t this be magical? Besides all the silly terms I first mentioned there are other ways to refer to menstruation....

    I have been spending a shit ton of time online lately. Now that I am self employed I have more me-time, a luxury and privilege that I acknowledge and don’t take for granted.  I write, I rest and I DO the things that bring me joy but the pull of social media is wicked strong. I open my eyes each morning and right away reach for my phone to check my media. Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and the like. Plus my emails and my blog. Sometimes I end up scrolling for over an hour before I even get out of bed! It’s absurd and time consuming.    T I M E  is important to me. How, who and where I spend it and what I do for my self care are high on my priority list.    So why am I giving up so much of it mindlessly scrolling?!? Well, I have the excuse that I advertise my business online. Aaaaaand my blog is online. I streamlined my timelines to show me only my close friends and people that inspire me. But still I end up scrolling...sc...

*art credit below   Autumn is here so let's chat about something spooky… GHOSTING . I’m going to talk about ghosting and dating because that is where I have personal experience. All ages, genders and orientations engage in this behavior and it is not exclusive to any one group. There are other types of ghosting like friend ghosting and ghosting due to abusive or toxic relationships but I want to exclusively speak about the dating/hookup kind. Urban Dictionary defines this action as the following: Ghosting   -The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date.  -This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just "get the hint" and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested.   - Ghosting is not specific to a certain gender and is closely related to the subject's maturity and communication ...

Here I am, waiting for my date to arrive and I’m nervous.  I mean, this was all orchestrated by me, I slid into his DM’s and invited myself on a day date...but that’s neither here nor there.  I'm feeling anxious, about meeting someone I don't know but the underlying anxiety is more insidious.   I don't have a full time job for the first time in 10 years.  I don't have a steady income and I'm fucked up about it.  Did I make a mistake? Holy shit...what have I done??????? Then this little ladybug lands on my hand and I exhale.  It zipped me right back into reality. Whew, spiral averted.  Reality is that I am okay, better than okay because I am free. It’s Monday...and I’m not at a job that I hate…I’m spending time doing something fun and out of the ordinary.  I took the train into Haymarket and had a leisurely morning stroll through Faneuil Hall.  I read the Metro and did the crossword puzzle in the shadow of the New Englan...

(written 8/20/19)  Last night I watched my friend give birth to her 10 pound baby.  At her house…in a pool…in her  bedroom…naturally.  It was the most profound and powerful thing I have ever witnessed in my  entire life. Just for a little background… Corrine and I are relatively new friends.  We met through our mutual friend Angelina in 2016.  And that was just through Facebook.  I didn’t even meet her face to face until December of that  year.  When I was having a spiritual experience, supernatural is a more accurate description, Angie referred me to Corrine.  So I, as a practical stranger, called her and told her all about it.  She took it in stride, listened and offered support.  She held space for me and my experience.  She didn’t make me feel weird or crazy; she validated my feelings and made me feel safe. I’m forever grateful she was willing to talk to me, love me from a dis...