This is 36
My birthday fell on Thanksgiving this year. I’m supposed to be happy. I’m working less and gaining more fulfilling experiences. I’m pursuing my passions, spending time with the people that I love and feeling my feelings. So why the fuck am I crying?!? I’m thinking of all the things I don’t have. I’m comparing my insides to the highlight reel that is Facebook & IG. I’m wishing for more and feeling ungrateful for where I’m at. I am usually so busy around my birthday and the holidays that I’m unable to feel my real feelings. This year is different. I have time to feel and it’s uncomfortable. I filled up on food and sugar and coffee and I didn’t feel better. Then I started trolling the dating sites hard looking for a one night stand. That will make me feel better...right?!? The Universe saved me from myself and didn’t provide with empty, ungratifying and ultimately self sabotaging sex. This is shitty! And I’m mad, so mad that I’m crying. I want more, wish