OVERTHINKING

When I was in active addiction I was a master at making decisions. Or so I thought.  All I had to do was think of ME and the choice was made. I concocted a plan where I did the least amount of work, benefited the most and was the clear winner.  It’s the way of an addict/alcoholic.

Now in sobriety I think ALL. THE. TIME.  It’s overthinking really. Is this the right choice, should I do this, should I do that, what if it's the wrong color, what will ppl think, what do I think, am I hungry, what if I’m just hungry and I don't even want this thing/person/situation?  

It’s truly mind boggling.  The thing is, our brains are constantly making choices all day long.  It’s what we do. Weigh the pros and cons in an instant and make the choice.  Some choices are harder than others and sometimes I make things harder than THEY NEED TO BE.

I cant get out of my own fucking way sometimes.  I overthink and all of a sudden fear starts to creep in.  My mind wanders down dangerous paths. The least likely outcome becomes the one I zero in on.  I get tunnel vision on the negatives and my brain becomes a scary place to be.

Therapy helps a lot.  Talking with my friends helps too.  Just saying things out loud and/or putting them on paper lets me see the facts instead of the mess.  I can sort out if its important in the big picture or me making a mountain out of a molehill.

I have learned to give myself permission to he H U M A N.  I can choose to go down the deep rabbit hole of overthinking O R reframe my thinking.   

Example

Me in my mind as I’m reading a book : 

“ I should be cleaning my room.  It’s a fucking mess. But I can clean it later, but I won't clean it later, but rn I’m reading and resting.  Should I do it, eeehhhhh, I know I’ll regret not doing it, eeehhhhh, I’ll do it. Nah, let me read for 20 more minutes”

Then an hour passes by and the process starts all over again but is now compounded by guilt.  Here is what the reframe looks like, in a best case scenario.

“I should be cleaning my room…”

Pause-Reframe

“I usually tidy up twice a week.  Is it important right now? I choose to read for 20 minutes and revisit this idea of cleaning.”

Follow up in 20 minutes.

Sounds simple, right? When the “shoulds” and whirlwind comes in it is HARD to pause and reframe.  As difficult as it is I am willing to do this work.  

💡For me, fear shows up as overthinking.  (I literally just figured this out as I typed it). Fear is showing me ALL possible outcomes to prepare me for the future.  And as much as I am grateful for fear preparing me, overthinking does not serve me anymore. I C H O O S E to reframe. I know I won’t get it right all the time, I will still fall into old habits but I am arming myself with skills to manage my daily life.  I am thankful for the ability to adapt to a new way of life.

OVERTHINKING 

PAUSE - REFRAME ✔️