Sugaring my Crown

I am a feeler.  All my life I have had big emotions but for a long time I pushed them down deep, self-medicating with drugs and alcohol.  I was trying to fill up with numbness so I didn’t have to feel anything at all. 

Now that drugs and alcohol no longer serve me and the life I live, I use my first “drug” of choice - FOOD.  More specifically – SUGAR.  I turn to sugar for all occasions and it calls to me.  It is a craving that is almost unstoppable.  Sugar helps me to turn off the feelings and forget for a little while.  Sugar was my first addiction.

Even while embracing and loving the spiritual life sugar still plays role.  Sugar turns the volume down on my spiritual gifts.  When I get overwhelmed by spirit instead of practicing the skills I have learned to close down my aura and set boundaries, I reach for cookies or candy.

I sugar my crown chakra.  That also effects my third eye (also referred to as the brow chakra).  These chakras are the gateway through which spirit communicates with me. 

For those chakra novices, here are 2 charts I found on Pinterest that give short descriptions on the Crown and Third Eye chakras.

The times I am full of sugar and carbs I feel disconnected, cloudy, muddled, logy, closed and falsely safe.  I know that the spiritual messages are fewer and further between.

It was working for a time, but now...not so much.  I can still feel the vibes while on a sugar binge.  I still receive spiritual downloads (messages, ideas, etc from spirit) but they are harder for me to discern and get down on paper when I load my body on sugar and carbs.  There is nothing more annoying than knowing that the Universe is trying to tell me something and I can’t see or hear it well enough to act on it – because of the foods I have eaten. 

The times that I exercise, eat well and limit processed sugar I feel energized in all ways.  I take the time to listen and feel my intuition.  When an idea comes to mind I am quick to put it on paper and then expand on it.  I am able to see the signs of my guides and helpers. I sleep better and my overall attitude is waaaaaay kinder.  Life is clear and much simpler without the sugar overload.

It really comes down to choice. 

Do I really want to develop my gifts?   

YES

Will I be mindful of the foods that make me feel good/bad? 

YES

Is it possible for me to live my best life while simultaneously treating myself poorly? 

HELL NO

Do I want to be detached from reality? 

FUCK NO!

I want to live completely in the here and now.   

I want to be balanced. 

I have been watching my sugar and carb intake for 5 days and my senses are stabilizing.  I feel clear, open and light.  Making good choices and staying on track is a daily process.  I know that the Universe has my back and wants me to succeed. 

That being said, I am literally one cookie away from another sugar binge.  I would like to be free from the crippling craving for sugar that overtakes me sometimes.   With practice, a planned daily routine and discipline that hopefully will turn into healthy habits I hope to get there someday. 

Today I choose to empower myself by making good food choices. 

Today I choose to share about my struggles because it helps to get these feelings out.

Today I choose to LIVE!!

I also choose, just for today, not to pour sugar into my crown!