I am a feeler. All my life I have had big emotions but for a long time I pushed them down deep, self-medicating with drugs and alcohol. I was trying to fill up with numbness so I didn’t have to feel anything at all. Now that drugs and alcohol no longer serve me and the life I live, I use my first “drug” of choice - FOOD. More specifically – SUGAR. I turn to sugar for all occasions and it calls to me. It is a craving that is almost unstoppable. Sugar helps me to turn off the feelings and forget for a little while. Sugar was my first addiction. Even while embracing and loving the spiritual life sugar still plays role. Sugar turns the volume down on my spiritual gifts. When I get overwhelmed by spirit instead of practicing the skills I have learned to close down my aura and set boundaries, I reach for cookies or candy. I sugar my crown chakra. That also effects my third e...
ππΊπHi friends! The blog has been quiet of late. I have been working from home, reading, cleaning (not much, still counts though) but mostly I’ve been feeling. This sounds weird because don't we feel every day, all day? Isn’t life just a series of situations with waves of feelings and emotions?? π€·π½♀️Well, yes and no. The behavior I picked up along the way was to power through an experience, especially the uncomfortable, leave it behind and carry on like all was well. So I never got the chance to feel because I stuffed it all down, encapsulated my experience and moved on...or so I thought. During quarantine I’m pulling up a chair and feeling tough emotions. Instead of running I am sitting in the uncomfortable. Letting it wash over and through me. This is the only way I will be able to truly heal. Right now I am focusing on the feeling part of my healing instead of the writing, analyzing, editing & sharing part. I may be quiet here but it’s ...
When I closed my eyes tonight I was instantly connected. I was home again. Nothing could hurt me Or interrupt. There was me… Small, unsure and waiting. One minute piece of this Enormous Expansive Wondrous Indescribable U N I V E R S E . There was you… So vast, your breadth is beyond what my eyes can see and what my mind can comprehend. Cosmic Safe Certain Comfortable Potent Joyous Energetic and F R E E. I can feel us C O N N E C T E D , together, bonded AS ONE. My Gods are here. They have ALWAYS been here. It was I that left them behind. But tonight, I felt you Loudly , clearly and with C E R T A I N F A I T H.
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