Something New

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Life is a journey full of ups, downs and everything in between.  Most of us have experienced things like  balancing family, having a career, school, financial issues, periodic failures, goal setting and realizing dreams.  For me, sometimes I get such tunnel vision that I stop enjoying the journey of my life and only focus on the goal.  I stop trying new things because I get stuck in the mundane.  As time goes by and things happen and priorities shift and the journey changes.  This has been true for me in the past few years.  I have been stuck. 

 

Getting sober in 2009 helped me take stock in my life at that time.  Drugs and alcohol no longer served me and I was able to put them down with the help of a treatment center and a 12 step program.  Sobriety gave me a foundation to stand on to begin to make good choices.

 

My cancer diagnosis made me take a closer look at my life.

 

Am I happy?  Like really happy?  Am I living in today or in the future?

 

Am I living my best life?

 

Being in a 12 step program taught me to live in today but also plan for the future.  In my mind my future meant getting married, buying a house and having kids.  Now that cancer entered my life things look a bit different.  I am not forgetting about those 3 important things, they are on the back burner.  If it is meant to be it will be.  Now I am making decisions and choices that make me happy NOW.

 

Right now I am excited to start something new (this blog) and follow through.  This blog has gotten so many positive responses and I feel like for the first time I am following my destiny.  I am unaccustomed to sharing my writing but it’s so liberating and freeing.  If I had to get sober then go through cancer to get here…then so be it.  I am more than the sum of my parts and I know that my experience can help another person.  Whether it is getting sober, a cancer diagnosis, disordered eating or learning to love their body; I understand.  My journey encompasses all those things and more.

 

I am praying for Gods will and meditating to have quiet to listen to His responses.  God has put certain people in my life to guide me to his will; my sponsor, loving, honest women and He gave me my family who has always lifted me up.  They have all helped me to get to this place in my life. I can honestly say that I am open to all possibilities, now more than ever.  My vision of the future is hazy, only because I’m not pushing and pulling to get the outcome I want.  God and the Universe has provided for me up until now. 
 
I am going to trust and believe the plan they have for me is greater than anything I can dream up. 

 

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