A Grateful Heart
During my alone time I tend to think on the negative side. I list all the things that I have done wrong, where I have made mistakes and how I am not good enough.
When I am around others I tend to be positive. I keep my thinking on the bright side, consider all the amazing things I have done and am hopeful about my future.
These polar opposites are difficult places to be. When the pendulum swings too far to the negative I feel like I am stuck in a hole that I will never get out if. If I sway too far in the other direction I forget the tough times and spend too much, eat too much etc. because I cannot see where I need improvement. It is difficult to remember the past, keep today in focus but plan for the future…how can I do it all?
I strive to find a balance between the two and part of the balance for me is having gratitude. I try to be actively thankful to the people that support me by keeping in touch with them. A phone call or text goes a long way in showing that I care. Every day I appreciate the roof over my head and the food in my refrigerator. I remember the errors of my youth but do not dwell on them. I must ask for help when I need it and then accept help when it is given.
I attempt to expand my spiritual life every single day. I ask my Higher Power for guidance on a daily basis. I ask for love, compassion and kindness in all my ways. I ask to see, hear and write the truth. I ask for the ability to be teachable and grateful.
In the 12 step program I have heard that a grateful heart doesn’t drink. I never understood what that meant until now. I never want to forget where I came from and all the pain it took to get where I am. If I choose to forget the gratitude for the life I have it will be easy to let everything fall apart because of a broken shoelace.
So, I look for balance. I am not perfect but the 12 step program, and life in general, is about progress not perfection. I know that everything happens for a reason and I cannot spend too much time ruminating on the past. I listen and learn from the women and men that offer friendship and fellowship. I seek out people that are truth tellers and that don’t let me believe the stories I make up in my own mind. I offer my time to people who need and want to spend time with me. Balance.
When I am around others I tend to be positive. I keep my thinking on the bright side, consider all the amazing things I have done and am hopeful about my future.
These polar opposites are difficult places to be. When the pendulum swings too far to the negative I feel like I am stuck in a hole that I will never get out if. If I sway too far in the other direction I forget the tough times and spend too much, eat too much etc. because I cannot see where I need improvement. It is difficult to remember the past, keep today in focus but plan for the future…how can I do it all?
I strive to find a balance between the two and part of the balance for me is having gratitude. I try to be actively thankful to the people that support me by keeping in touch with them. A phone call or text goes a long way in showing that I care. Every day I appreciate the roof over my head and the food in my refrigerator. I remember the errors of my youth but do not dwell on them. I must ask for help when I need it and then accept help when it is given.
I attempt to expand my spiritual life every single day. I ask my Higher Power for guidance on a daily basis. I ask for love, compassion and kindness in all my ways. I ask to see, hear and write the truth. I ask for the ability to be teachable and grateful.
In the 12 step program I have heard that a grateful heart doesn’t drink. I never understood what that meant until now. I never want to forget where I came from and all the pain it took to get where I am. If I choose to forget the gratitude for the life I have it will be easy to let everything fall apart because of a broken shoelace.
So, I look for balance. I am not perfect but the 12 step program, and life in general, is about progress not perfection. I know that everything happens for a reason and I cannot spend too much time ruminating on the past. I listen and learn from the women and men that offer friendship and fellowship. I seek out people that are truth tellers and that don’t let me believe the stories I make up in my own mind. I offer my time to people who need and want to spend time with me. Balance.
When I start to get greedy and selfish I remember to be grateful because I want to live my best life, a life that is full of joy and gratitude.
My grateful heart shines because of you.
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